Solidarity and Support: IDEAS for Those Being Harassed, Bullied, Defamed for Online Activism Work*

*Special thanks to attendees of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) 2020 Summit workshop and others who offered strategies to successfully cope with online attacks.

Online stalking, harassment, and bullying have plagued many, if not most, online educators, advocates and activists. Common forms of assault can include ridicule, degradation, and verbal attacks. It can escalate to threats of violence, death threats, property destruction in real life, and more.

Troublesome new forms of harassment include doxing (malevolent public exposure of private information), false reporting, and malicious use of process.

In an attempt to silence views that the harasser opposes, they seek to ruin reputations and prevent advocates’ speaking opportunities. They rely on a common tactic: shame the target, and deceive the public, journalists, and service and government organizations.

One strategy is to repeat a lie continuously, under the appearance of credibility, so that readers will eventually presume it is true. Only those who research can see behind clever deceit in the form of fake websites and made-up reports of abuse.

Another growing concern for defamation is the corruption of Wikipedia by gangs of biased editors who prevent factual information from being edited into this online encyclopedia, and false information from being corrected. Since much of the public still uses Wikipedia as a reliable source of information, this tactic serves to ruin reputations and prevent exposure, while rendering its victims powerless to appeal the Wikipedia misinformation and disinformation.

In July 2020, a group of advocates and media professionals united in conversation about their experiences of being attacked, our suspicions of some of the forces behind our attacks, and how we have coped. Here is the summary:

Who is Behind Your Attacks? Could it be more than just a random mean person?

· It may be bored, disgruntled, or argumentative individuals.

· It may be a group out to cause conflict and upset you.

· What they do may be organized and funded. Look at who has the motivation to silence you. Study “Astroturfing,” or paid propaganda with the appearance of a genuine public grassroots campaign.

· One advocate said, “We need to inform the general public about how severe the attacks are. People have no idea.” (This was part of the inspiration for this article.)

· Consider that your critics may in fact be paid punters, posing as critics and protesters to crush your message. Look deeper. Big business pays lobbyists and publicity experts, who regularly employ social media and image experts to bend public opinion. For example, pornography investors hired the top publicity firm of the day to destroy the reputations of Catharine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin when they first raised serious concerns about porn’s effects on women. A quote from the publication In Harm’s Way: The Pornography Civil Rights Hearings by Catharine A. MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin illuminates this point:

“One incident exposed the workings of this de facto machine accidentally. In 1986, a leaked memo from the public relations firm of Gray & Company proposed a press campaign for the Media Coalition, the group of trade publishers and distributors including some pornographers, that is substantially funded by Penthouse and was behind the litigation against the ordinance in Indianapolis and Bellingham. Gray & Company proposed to “discredit the Commission on Pornography” and stop “self-styled anti-pornography crusaders” from creating “a climate of public hostility towards selected publications.” They got the contract, which budgeted about a million dollars to pursue their recommended lines of attack. As reflected in the press this campaign produced, this planned onslaught focused on two items of disinformation contained in the proposal:

1) The first is that there is no evidence that pornography does harm. In their euphemistic PR language, “there is no factual or scientific basis for the exaggerated and unfounded allegations that sexually-oriented content in contemporary media is in any way a cause of violent or criminal behavior.”

2) The second is that the campaign to stop pornography “is being orchestrated by a group of religious extremists.’”

It is fascinating to me that these two messages have continued to be used to manipulate the public discourse around both pornography and education about its addictive nature to the present day — that pro-porn activists have been following this same playbook for over thirty years. Since I began to educate the public about sexual recovery after publishing my book Naked in Public: A Memoir of Recovery from Sex Addiction and Other Temporary Insanities in 2015, I have been characterized as both a “self-righteous activist” and a “religious extremist.” This because I am concerned about the links between pornography and sexual violence, I teach about how children can be harmed by exposure to porn, and I share information about the very real and very valid research science that demonstrates the addictive nature of pornography use.

· If your attackers seem prolific or coordinated, look at whose bottom line your message might be threatening. Greed is a powerful motive. I can only imagine the porn PR campaign budget in 2020 dollars, if they spent a million dollars back in 1986!

If I’m Being Targeted Online, What Should I do?

· DO NOT BE AFRAID TO BLOCK ABUSERS IMMEDIATELY! We have the right and responsibility to protect ourselves and our social media platforms from those who are dominating, dangerous, or even deadly. There are people and organizations constantly scanning for platforms to spew their propaganda. You are not obliged to allow them to use yours! Do not allow bullying, racism, ridicule, and cruel comments.

· REPORT to those responsible (if there is anyone responsible) for hate speech/harassment, racism, etc., like a moderator or organizational administration.

· DO NOT ENGAGE DIRECTLY or react — often that’s what harassers want. Moreover, with each answer you invite them to respond even more vitriolically, and your platform becomes theirs, in effect.

· IF YOU DO ENGAGE, BE STRATEGIC. Don’t give them the “LULZ” (sadistic amusement at your outrage or other reaction). Ignore them if you can.

· REMEMBER, THEY DON’T TRULY KNOW YOU, so it isn’t personal. What they do reflects them and their character, even if they try to make it about yours.

· DELETE POSTS within your control that get out of hand.

· GET SUPPORT! Start a group, talk about your experiences, and ask for help. DON’T try to cope with prolonged harassment alone. Others can provide perspective and encouragement, which are essential when dealing with online emotional attacks.

· ASK OTHERS TO STAND UP FOR YOU in solidarity, by going to your page and commenting in your favor.

· EXIT. If you are unable to find safety on Twitter, for example, and your reported tweets are ignored, leave the platform. There is no shame in leaving an abusive organization.

· CONSIDER STARTING YOUR OWN PLATFORM, including a one-way medium like a podcast vs. a Facebook page. That way you can get your message out and moderate all comments.

· PUT YOUR MESSAGE BEHIND A PAYWALL. That way lazy attackers won’t have instant access to you 24/7.

· If you are in a debate, ADDRESS THE PRINCIPLES rather than replying directly people who don’t engage respectfully. Choose someone else’s more sympathetic comment in a thread to respond to.

· START A PRIVATE OR PUBLISHED STALKER’S LOG. If you eventually do get involved in legal defense, you will need documentation and screen shots of your attacks as proof. Any skilled lawyer would instruct you to compile your stalker’s log as part of your testimony.

· If abusive people get you down, give yourself A PAT ON THE BACK FOR YOUR NOBLE PURPOSE. You are an activist/advocate because you care about something. That matters!

· CONNECT WITH FRIENDS WHO AREN’T INVOLVED in your cause or passion. Get your mind off the harassment as best as you can.

· SELF-CARE, SELF-CARE, SELF-CARE! Find ways to relax, distract, self-soothe, and play, and make sure you do these on a regular basis! Often this is a marathon, not a sprint. Rest, healthy eating, and exercise are essential to keep your balance. Surround yourself with supportive friends, as you will need to lean on them when you feel down.

· USE HUMOR, even dark humor, to lighten up and get perspective. Laughing with friends can be healing and connecting.

· FIND A THERAPIST who understands what you are going through and can validate and support your natural grief and problem-solving efforts. However, therapy is not a cure-all for prolonged attacks. You may need to take more direct action.

· CONSIDER A LAWSUIT. Sometimes you just need to sue their ass, or at least make it clear you will, if necessary ! However, be aware that a defamation suit against a deep pocket can cost half a million dollars today, and it may be years before you see relief. So if you have a common enemy, consider supporting another’s lawsuit.

After my efforts to dialogue with an online bully failed miserably back in 2017 and the personal and professional attacks escalated, I realized I needed a better approach. I tried many of the suggestions written about here. At first, I BLOCKED AND IGNORED. When this didn’t help, I sent a CEASE AND DESIST LETTER, but the harassment still didn’t stop. I then detailed my experiences via an ONLINE STALKER LOG I posted on my website. Though this didn’t deter my stalker, it gave me a feeling that I am worth standing up for; that the harm caused to me should be reported on. For another example of an ONLINE STALKER LOG from a fellow victim of this same perpetrator, check out Gary Wilson’s seven year nightmare.

Another tactic I took was to SUPPORT A FRIEND AND FELLOW ACTIVIST/EDUCATOR, Alexander Rhodes of NoFap.com, who took the brave step to sue his relentless attacker in federal court for defamation. I helped Alex create a legal fund-raiser, and his success has been heartening to see. He’s raised $143K so far through small contributions, and his lawsuit is picking up momentum. Even though I’m not a party in his case, I did offer my testimony, so I’m hopeful that documentation of the suffering I’ve gone through might benefit his efforts.

One of Alex’s multiple legal victories was winning a successful retraction and financial settlement from a defaming online publication — read about it here: Exclusive: Leftie Scram Shuts Down After Losing Big Money Libel Case.

He also succeeded in getting statements retracted in a defamatory article from Vice News, with more accurate information inserted in its place. His efforts inspire me to keep fighting for fairness even when it gets exhausting at times. May truth, justice, and accountability for harmful behavior prevail!

Online bullying is a fact of life today. If you want to have a voice, you will likely experience it. As tribal primates who once depended upon each other for survival, humans are wired to fear ostracism above many other threats. Remind yourself that today you can choose your own trustworthy friends, and that your survival is not dependent upon keeping everyone happy. If your cause is just, not everyone will be fooled by malicious intimidation.

As the late President Abraham Lincoln once said,

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

Article originally posted on Medium.com, here: https://medium.com/@stacisproutLICSW/solidarity-and-support-ideas-for-those-being-harassed-bullied-defamed-for-online-activism-work-b7ba6397d7d5